This morning I was struck with this bolt of deep intense sorrow out of nowhere. I did not know where it came from. I knew something had happened, so I steeled myself and went about my day savoring the little happinesses all around me.
Now I know. My dear friend CC Mariner died this morning.
CC showed up at our door with a Smith Island cake every Thanksgiving. He was tall and strong and could make a car run like a bat out of hell.
The last time I saw him, he was so disoriented from surgery that he did not know I was there. The nurse asked me to feed him his breakfast, and I was grateful to do this small thing for my friend.
He came to my rescue so many times when I got into car trouble. No matter what horrific thing I did to my car (and f you have seen me behind the wheel you know what kind of vehicular mayhem I am capable of) CC would just shake his head, say, “For the Lord’s sake” and within 24 hours he would call with news my car was back on the road.
We spent many perfect days hanging out in his garage, puttering around with cars talking about nothing in particular.
He was good to my folks too.
Farewell, my friend. I love you.
Grief reached across the world to get me,
sadness carries me across seas and countries
to your grave, my brother,
to offer the only gift I can still give you –
words you will not hear.
Fortune has taken you from me. You.
No reason, nothing fair.
I didn’t deserve losing you.
Now, in the silence since,
as in the ancient custom of our people,
I say the mourner’s prayer,
do the final kindness.
Accept and understand it, brother.
My head aches from crying.
~Gaius Valerius Catullus