Amy Costello 1966 – 2018

I got word today that my wife Amy passed away on  September 4, 2018.  She was only 52 years old.

Amy was the great love of my life. We met and had a courtship straight out of a Disney movie. The first time I took her to Assateague National Seashore, a baby seal swam out of the ocean right up to her feet.


We were married on October 10, 2010 on the steps of the old Manassas Courthouse – site of the 1911 Peace Festival, where veterans from both sides  of the battle of Manassas came together in the spirit of peace and brotherhood.

For years after the wedding we would drive up to the courthouse steps where we exchanged our vows. I would sing old love songs and we would hold each other close and dance.

Then I got sick. One operation became two, became four, became nine. Each procedure taking more and more strain on us, and pumping more and more pain medication into my bloodstream. By 2014 I decided to start treatment for opioid addiction in Crisfield. Amy and I stayed in contact every day, and saw each other whenever we could.

Less than two years ago Amy pushed me away. I talked, I sang, I begged. The messages back were brutally clear that I was to stay away. I knew something bad was happening, but she made her wishes clear. It broke my heart, but I gave her the space she asked for.

Now she is gone.

Through all of the pain I cannot help but feel gratitude for the time we had together. When I first took Amy out on photography walks all she was interested in was dead trees. I took her out into Blackwater, Assateague, Bombay Hook and the world came alive. Skies filled with snow geese. We enjoyed being stalked by playful foxes. So much beauty. When we were together we burned so brightly that the whole world seemed in a different light.


Goodbye my love, my darling, my Amy Rose.

Amy & Patrick – 2010

20 thoughts on “Amy Costello 1966 – 2018

  1. Hi Patrick I followed with great interest your posts on the lead up to your wedding and after .I can understand what medication does to ones system and how easy it is to try and find solace and peace by swallowing a few zomorph or morphine sulphate telling yourself that I got it from the doctor so it’s alright .You kicked it into touch and got through it here’s hoping you stay like that .on a purely selfish note I need your tutalidge and help with the banjo ,so please do not let this sad event effect you too much again easy for me to say .Stay strong Patrick you and Amy are in our prayers .Your pal in Scotland Jim

  2. So sorry for your loss. You two were so good together. Condolences to you and her family.

  3. I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. I met Amy once at the 2013 Folk Musicians Retreat what a great personalty she had. She will be missed by all that knew her.

  4. Thanks for sharing this Patrick. My condolences. A beautiful love story and a very sad one also but but we never know all of God’s plan that he has for us. We keep you in our prayers.

  5. I always loved Amy’s Waltz. And I bet she was a special person to inspire such beauty.

  6. I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my wife also and I want to tell you that things will get better. The bad menories will be replaced with the great memories that will be with you always.

  7. Hello Patrick,
    I wrote you a letter a few days ago I am sure you have it by now. I am so sorry to
    hear about the passing of you’re Wife Amy but I know from just watching and listening to you’re videos and the positive attitude you have about life and the compassion for the Banjo you will weather the storm. My God bless you and you’re family.

  8. Very sorry for your loss , Patrick. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

  9. Very sorry for your loss , Patrick. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

  10. Very sorry for your loss, Patrick. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

  11. Patrick, I am sorry for the loss of Amy. I lost my wife of 33 years on June 1, 2015, but I am comforted by the knowledge that I will see her again.

  12. Patrick: Through your most tragic loss you still find a way to inspire. Got my first banjo in 1976. Tried off-and-on to play bluegrass, but only developed basic skills. One day I found you on YouTube and discovered frailing. I was inspired, not just by your playing and approach to teaching, but by your generosity in sharing yourself with your internet banjo friends, most of whom you may never know about. You have opened yourself up to us and I want you to know that I am praying for you and your family that God sends the Holy Spirit to comfort you all during this time of tragic loss. May God be with you.
    From one more friend you never knew you had.

  13. Hi Patrick, very sorry where of your loss. I hope you manage to accomplish some of the things on you list. Remember you are always welcome here in Scotland. Take care.

  14. Patrick, very sorry to hear of your loss. Your video on sunny side was very brave and I’ll be strumming it all day in honour of your love for Amy. Keep on the sunny side and cherish the happy memories.
    All the best from France.

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