He’s Always A Ninja To Me

(to the tune of, She’s Always A Woman To Me)

He can kill with a kick
He can wound with throwing stars
He can disappear in white smoke
And he once fought van – yes. A van.
His name is Sho Kosugi
And he’s always a ninja to me

He can fight a moving car
He can punch you or kick you
He can kill a mansion full of mobsters
Getting away scott free
His family can kick your ass down the street
His name is Sho Kosugi
And he’s always a ninja to me

Oh, he takes care of himself
In Cannon films
He was ahead of his time
Oh, and he never gives up
And he never gives in
He just kicks ass

He will kick you more times
Than there are stars in the sky
Then he’ll carefully cut you
And laugh while you’re bleedin’
He was in Pray For Death
The worst film ever made
His name is Sho Kosugi
And he’s always a ninja to me

The hearing aid and teeth situation have temporarily hampered my promise to perform a Billy Joel song, so here are some “improved” lyrics…