Broken Down But Still Running

We were all set for Songs for Sunday today. Unfortunately, my body had other plans. By showtime, I was too arthritic and postictal to be of any use.

For my entire life, in addition to the growing and aging we all experience, I have been adapting to my disabilities. More than once, like my current situation, new issues arise that force me to start all over again.

I am not complaining. While some aspects of my life are difficult, not many people are fortunate to have family and friends as I do.

That said, neuropathy, arthritis, and seizures are kicking my ass. I am always in pain. It keeps me awake until I have a seizure, and that can leave me a mess for days. I can’t walk or drive, leaving me with no way to get away and clear my head. It has been years since I have been to Brick Kiln on my own.

I can usually handle the pain, but seeing me in agony is hard on my folks. It doesn’t help that I can be a hard to be around when things get to a point where I am trying not to scream.

Over the next couple of weeks, Dear Old Dad and I will be working to get me a bit more productive on days when I am able to work. I will also be moving from the acoustic banjo to the electric, as it is easier on my hands.

To the folks asking things like why God would do this and whatnot, do not let your hearts be troubled. I am okay.

While it is a shock to go from being strong as I was to my current weakened state; perhaps I was too strong. Perhaps whatever comes next requires me to think before I throw a punch. I honestly don’t have an answer, but I have faith that this leads to something. So, I’ll keep going.

If you are willing to, please say a prayer for my folks. This can’t be easy on them.

I will get a video up during the week, as my hands allow, and post an update on Songs for Sunday and other projects soon.

God bless,
—Patrick