In the tradition of William Conrad, I am getting weird packages from Amazon. It’s called brushing. A retailer sends out random junk to Amazon customers in the hopes of reviews.

You see, the Internet is broken. Everybody from corporations to pollsters to horrible musicians hell-bent on faking it until they make it has been pumping the numbers in terms of views, reviews, and anything remotely positive on social media. This eventually led to brushing, where Amazon retailers give stuff away in the hopes one random soul will say something positive.

I have notified Amazon and taken the usual steps, but once this train starts it can be hard to stop. It will be interesting to see what comes.

As packages arrive, I will be compiling the list into a Christmas carol

The Brushing Days of Amazon
To the tune of The Twelve Days of Christmas:

On the first day of brushing, Amazon sent to me
A Glade air fresh-en-en-er!

On the second day of brushing, Amazon sent to me
Two gun safes and as assortment of Colgate toothbrushes!

A Glade air freshener
Two gun safes
And an assortment of Colgate toothbrushes!